Sora was laying in Axel's bed wondering what tomorrow would hold, and if he was making the right decision.
The sounds of the redhead humming and the sound of water from the shower in the bathroom could be heard.
<I needed to get out of there to get away from Roxas… No question… But is dragging Axel into this the right thing to do…?>
He leaned back against the soft pillows pushing the light bed sheets further down his body they were sticking to his already damp body…
It was 70 degrees Fahrenheit outside and he knew this would be a hard night to try to get some sleep even without having anything on his mind…
Pulling his knees up towards his chest he pondered what had happened today.
<If I get my number changed… And leave… There's no way he'll ever be able to contact me again… >
His heart twinged for a moment thinking about his twin brother…
<Sora… Don't be an idiot… He tried to…>
He shook the memory away.
<No… I don't even want to remember that… I'll just… Pretend I don't have a twin anymore…>
This idea made his heart hurt because no matter what...
Roxas had been apart of him for…
Well forever.
But he knew he had to be tough on himself if he ever wanted to get away from his judgemental and screwed up family.
A single tear escaped his eye and ran down his cheek.
<Tomorrow will be a new start… No more lies… No more hiding… No more shame.>
The water from the shower stopped running and Sora lay down trying to mimic sleep.
Axel stood in the bathroom drying his hair off with a towel regarding himself in the mirror.
<This is crazy… But love is supposed to be crazy right…?>
He smiled to himself thinking about Sora laying down in his bed just beyond the bathroom door.
<If we go… I get to feel this way all the time… Always have him sleeping beside me… Always have him waiting for me to climb into bed beside him… To make love to him… If I stay, I lose him possibly for good…>
The redhead frowned at this thought.
<I don't want to lose him… And I would never expect him to stay with people that treat him like that…>
Rubbing his skin quickly and roughly with the towel he pulled on tight fitting black boxer shorts and a baggy white t shirt.
He then exited the bathroom quietly and saw the figure of Sora in his bed…
Mostly uncovered…
Wearing only his boxer shorts…
The redhead swallowed hard and trying to think of seriously not sexy things to kill the impending hard on that would result from seeing Sora like that got into his bed on the ground pulling one of the covers loosely over himself.
<Just go to sleep Axel…>
Tossing and turning the redhead finally sat up leaning lightly on Sora's bed.
<It's so fucking warm…>
The redhead peeled the t shirt off himself and walked into the bathroom again splashing cold water on his face.
<I hate it when it's this hot… Especially at night time… I'm warm enough already like…>
Sora took a sneaky glance at the bathroom door when it swung open revealing Axel in his underwear…
The brunette was too busy staring to realise that he was supposed to be pretending to be asleep to avoid being questioned about the events of the day.
This was the first time he'd seen him in all his almost naked glory after all…
In the car park he'd been distracted and Axel had never actually fully removed his pants…
He just blinked lamely and stared.
Axel cocked his head wondering why he was being stared at like that.
"Uhm… I thought you were asleep…?"
Sora snapped back to reality.
"Uhm… Yeah… I was… But uh… You woke me up…"
The redhead moved towards his bed on the floor fanning himself with his hand.
"Man it's so fucking hot… I didn't mean to wake you baby…"
Axel leaned up on the bed and kissed Sora lightly on the forehead.
The brunette's breath hitched as Axel pulled away.
"Hey, you okay?"
"Uhm… Yeah…"
The redhead climbed up onto the bed beside him and looked him in the eyes.
"Are you sure?"
Sora nodded mechanically trying to not look at anything except Axel's eyes…
"Okay…"
Satisfied enough by this answer Axel shrugged kissed Sora lightly again on the cheek then got off the bed and went to get back into his own when Sora blurted out something he had no previous intention of saying.
"You took your t shirt off…"
The redhead froze and turned slowly to meet Sora's gaze.
<Oh shit he thinks I want to fuck… I'm horny enough to… But I shouldn't push it after what happened…>
"It's like 70 degrees outside…"
Axel caught Sora's gaze travelling down his body.
<Did he just…?!>
"Oh I know… I'm boiling here…"
Sora leaned his head back into the pillow and pulled the sheets which were stuck to his skin away from himself revealing his bare skin inch by inch.
<What am I doing…? I almost got raped today, almost… But… I want him so badly… And I mean… I feel okay… And I want him to so… What's the harm?>
Axel's eyes were glued to the sheet being removed from Sora's body.
"Uhm… I'm gonna go to sleep…"
Sora could feel himself getting hard and gave himself an encouraging little caress through the light sheet, then pulling the sheet off his body altogether and putting on the most lust filled voice he could muster gave Axel a proposition he couldn't refuse.
"So… Why not sleep in here with me tonight…?"
He gazed over and that was it…
Axel was a man…
Only a man…
And there's only so much a man could take…
When he turned to look at his lover Sora was laying there with one hand half way into his boxers, his eyes fixed lustfully on Axel and the other hand lay across his chest…
"I'll make it worth your while…"
Axel bit his lip giving resisting one last shot.
"Are… Are you sure you wanna do this…? Because once we start…"
The brunette gave him a cheeky smirk while edging his hand further into his boxer shorts and stroking himself lightly gave a small moan and sighed breathlessly.
"Well if you'd rather watch me…"
Axel got onto the bed and crawled across to Sora pulling down his boxer shorts and without warning took the brunette in his mouth.
"Ahh!"
The redhead grinned and hushed him putting a single finger to his lips and winking.
"Don't wanna wake my parents now do we…?"
Sora bit down hard on his bottom lip as Axel continued to pleasure him mercilessly.
"Ax-uhm!"
The brunette hissed in a whisper as his hands gripped the light sheets.
Axel stopped suddenly licking his fingers from top to bottom…
Sora knew what was coming and kicked his boxer shorts off completely in anticipation.
The redhead bit his lower lip trying to take his time and not rush…
He wanted Sora so badly…
It was tough to think clearly and it was tougher to not just rush ahead and fuck his brains out right now.
Slowly he pushed one finger inside feeling the pulsing heat and hearing Sora's sigh of absolute want…
Losing his self control steadily he moved his finger in and out listening to the brunettes sighs of pleasure and protest.
Sora looked into Axel's eyes in desperation.
"Forget that and fuck me… I need you now!"
The last of Axel's self control went out of the window and pulling on a condom and lubing up fast he rammed himself all the way into Sora in one thrust.
"Nnnngh!"
The look on Sora's face was one of mixed pleasure and pain eyes closed tightly but his lips were parted begging for more.
"Keep going hard…"
Axel pulled back slowly half afraid to repeat what he had just done and started thrusting slowly must to Sora's annoyance.
"Please… It feels so good when you fuck me hard…"
The redhead was dead set on taking this slowly…
But Sora had other ideas and Sora was used to getting what he wanted.
He got up suddenly pulling Axel out of himself pushed the redhead onto his back getting on top and taking the lead…
The brunette moved Axel in and out of himself hard and fast like someone who'd been doing this for years, biting down on his bottom lip trying to keep from crying out in pure bliss.
Sweat was dripping down the brunettes chest as he worked himself into a frenzy on top of Axel.
"S-Sora…"
He had officially lost all self restraint and sitting up gripped Sora's hips pulling him down harder and harder on his rock hard cock.
The brunette sighed out desperately trying to keep quiet and bit down on Axel's shoulder…
The pain and pleasure ignited something in Axel making him fuck Sora harder.
The brunette closed his eyes tightly as the redhead pulled himself out of Sora towards the tip of his cock and forcefully thrust into him again and again.
He whispered trying to keep his voice down.
"I don't know if I can stay quiet…!"
Scraping his nails across the redheads back, his body shook violently as he came across their stomachs.
"Nnnngh…"
Seeing the look on Sora's face and the sound that he made as he climaxed across their bodies Axel thrust in as hard as he could and gripping Sora tightly to him orgasmed with a low pitched groan and a release of breath from his lungs he hadn't been aware he'd been holding in.
Both of their exhausted bodies now slick and shining with sweat were still close together breathing low trying their best to keep quiet and not wake anyone else in the house.
Axel laid Sora lightly down on the bed and pulled out with a soft pleasured moan from his brunette lover.
The redhead got rid of the condom and all evidence that anything out of the ordinary had happened between them and went to get into his own bed…
But climbed in beside Sora instead.
His parents would find out his sexuality sooner or later and if they walked in on them together in the morning they would know for sure…
He had his suspicions they already suspected that he was gay.
<Fuck it… They won't say anything to Sora about this… If they're in anyway pissed with anyone they'll be pissed with me.>
Axel wrapped his arms around Sora who cuddled into him despite the heat of the night outside.
"Wow… That was… Just…"
The brunette yawned widely and fell asleep before even finishing the sentence in Axel's arms.
Roxas lay on Sora's bed for hours…
Just staring at the ceiling and not moving.
His mind repeating that Sora was never coming back like a broken record.
At one stage his mother had walked in asking about Sora's whereabouts.
"Sora won't be back…"
Is all he uttered and either she knew why or just didn't care enough to do anything about it…
But neither his mother nor his father did anything about it.
They went on eating dinner as normal…
Photos of Sora were still up around the house, but no one talked about him and his non presence hung in the air as obvious as his empty chair sat at the table.
Roxas began to inadvertently distance himself from everyone at school, knowing in his heart that he couldn't tell them the truth of what was going on, and took to keeping a journal of sorts to vent his pent up feelings…
Because really who but Sora would understand what he was feeling?
And so he started to write frequently in a frenzied attempt to contain himself when the weight of the situation fell on top of him making him feel powerless hopeless and more than anything else…
Utterly alone.
The morning after Sora left:
*The first night without him was awful…
Truly the most horrible thing I've ever experienced.
I wish he would come back…
All this time when I thought he needed me more…
It was actually the complete opposite…
I'm falling apart without him…
I feel alone in school…
I'm alone at home…
I have no one to talk to about it because no matter what he's my brother and who the fuck would understand… That I'm in love with him?*
A week after Sora left:
*This feels like dying from the inside…
It feels like my heart is full of cancer or some incurable disease that's just making me rot from the inside out…
I can't live without him and I just don't to…
It's not that I don't want him to be happy…
I do and I'm genuinely glad if he is…
I just wish I could be some small part of his happiness…
Or even of his life…
I don't want to live without him…
And I still can't believe he's gone…
I can't stop crying and looking over at his side of the room and just always remembering that he's gone.
Even looking in the mirror is tough now…
Not only do I not want to look at myself because I'm ashamed but because I see our similarities and for a moment sometimes think it's him then I see my reflection…
I see his nose and lips and eyes…
Then my blonde hair shatters the illusion…
And I realise how alone I am…
If I could have one thing, it would just be to say I'm sorry to him…
Even if he'd just punch me and tell me never to contact him again…
At least I would know that he hates me and that he's doing okay on his own.
That would be better than not knowing anything at all…*
A month after Sora left:
*I've spent hours just staring out this window willing him to come back…
I'd go out and look for him…
But I don't know even where to start…
I feel so hopeless…
I'm praying he'll forgive me and not even love me again but bear my company for the sake of my sanity…
They think that I'm starving myself…
Truth is I just don't have the interest or the appetite…
They've filled the house with junk food…
Their son, MY BROTHER has been missing for a month without any contact and they fill the house with JUNK FOOD because I'm not eating…
Sora could be…
I don't even want to think about it…
That just can't happen…
It won't…*
Three months after Sora left:
*I'm losing my fucking mind…
I haven't talked to anyone in days…
They want me to leave my room…
Go to school…
Get help…
Counselling…
But I don't want to…
He's not coming back and I just want to stay here and remain in the memory, trick myself into thinking that any minute he'll walk right back though that door…
He'll be drunk after a night out and stumble though our bedroom door…
And I'll wake up from this nightmare when he loudly stumbles in and I'll cry and he'll hold me…
He'll smell like beer and his breath will be warm on my face…
I'll cry and he'll tell me everything will be okay…
Everything will be okay…*
"He's not breathing!"
"His airways are blocked!"
"He's trying to vomit, clear his airways quickly…"
"…….. His airways are clear doctor…….. Breathing has returned to normal……."
"Sit him up he's going to vomit… If he expels it all out of his system we won't need to pump his stomach…"
Eyes flickered open and he could feel his gut wrenching as he puked repeatedly into a bucket a woman in white was holding.
"Doctor… Should he be vomiting this much?"
"Yes… This means the Ipecac syrup is working…"
His vision was blurry as his hands gripped the sides of the plastic container in front of him…
<I must be dying…>
Everything went black again as his back hit the thin mattress.
Sora was relaxing on the sofa when Axel returned from school.
"Hey you!"
Axel put his bag down on the floor and embraced Sora.
"Hey baby… What are you doing back so early?"
The brunette grinned.
"It's Wednesday baby my classes finish early every Wednesday… Which is why I prepared a little food for us…"
Sora led Axel over to the kitchen table.
The table was laid out with a white table cloth, a single red candle, silver cutlery and several dishes of delicious looking food.
The redhead was grinning from ear to ear.
"This looks amazing! But… Why did you go through all this trouble?"
The brunette smiled.
"Do I need a reason to treat you to something special?"
The redhead embraced Sora and kissed him gently on the lips and nuzzling his nose while holding the brunettes chin he looked into his blue eyes.
"I love you Sora…"
The brunettes heart still beat a little faster when Axel said this to him.
"I love you too…"
That night Axel held his hands as he made love to him…
Whispered into his ear how much he loved him…
Axel had somehow replaced his want for hard fast sex into something much more loving and gentle…
And as the redhead handled him gently like he might break every light touch and thrust brought him closer to orgasm…
Sora wrapped his arms around Axel as he came closer and closer to climax…
Pulling them together in a close embrace as he released between their bodies.
No roughness…
No marks left…
Only a flush to his cheeks and a sheen of sweat on his body.
The brunette pondered this as Axel went to the bathroom and returned climbing back into bed beside him.
<He makes everything okay… I can just be myself and he accepts me… He knows what happened with me and Roxas and he accepts me… How have I been so lucky?>
Axel returned to bed to find Sora with tears running down his face.
"Baby… What's wrong…?"
The brunette laughed wiping tears away.
"Scariest thing anyone can do is cry after sex right? I figured I've done pretty much every other freakish thing so I'm gonna try this…"
The redhead grinned and hugged him closely.
"You're not a freak… People land themselves in situations that they don't expect all the time and no one should judge unless they know what that situation is like first hand… Now what are you really crying about?"
Sora's face dropped.
"I'm… Just happy."
Axel looked at the smile fighting its way back onto his face and raised an eyebrow.
"You're crying your eyes out cause you're happy?"
The brunette nodded feeling foolish wiping away tears.
"I… Was just thinking I've really landed on my feet here with you… And I'm so grateful that you're here and that you… Love me…"
The redhead held him closely to him.
"How couldn't I love you when you're so unbelievably adorable?"
Axel wiped tears away from his lovers eyes and kissed his nose gently laying down with him in his arms and smiled to himself.
<I must be the luckiest guy alive…>
Blue eyes blinked open to blurry faces…
He sat up and puked again into a bucket a nurse was holding for him.
His forearms were stinging so much they felt hot and the bed was bloodstained.
<Maybe I'm in hell…>
Swallowing hard trying to stop himself vomiting again did nothing more came up stinging his throat and nostrils.
"I need another bucket in here!"
He could feel his hair sticking to his face as he vomited again and again…
Breathing was difficult in between his vomiting fits…
"Ugh… Get Sora…"
"Can we see him now? Is he okay?"
"The medicines kicked in and all of the painkillers are nearly out of his system… The wounds on his arms are deep but not fatal, we have a doctor in working on him now… He keeps on asking for someone named Sora, are either of you named Sora?"
His parents were quiet for a moment and the nurse waited patiently for an answer.
"Sora… We haven't heard from him in a few months…"
The nurse looked at his parents wondering.
"Is he Roxas' friend?"
The silence deepened and their mother took a deep breath.
"Sora is Roxas' twin…"
<His twin?>
"Gone to college is he?"
There was a silence that made the nurse suspicious.
"Yeah well kind of… He travelled away to go to school elsewhere."
"Where?"
They stood in silence.
"What age is he?"
"Seventeen years old…"
"Did you inform the police that he had run away?"
The silence from them was deafening.
"Thank you for your cooperation I'll keep you updated on Roxas' progress the minute I get anymore information."
Walking quickly down the corridor towards reception the nurse spoke as quietly as she could to the receptionist.
"Suspicion of a child abuse case in ward 3 please call the police as soon as you can… Keep it discreet though I think the mother may have been drinking…"
The receptionist nodded and picked up the phone immediately.
"Hello, this is the hospital on 52nd street… I have a young adult male Roxas aged 17 in ward 3 here, an attempted suicide… He's crying out for his twin brother, a boy named Sora… His parents are here, apparently this boy Sora has been missing and has had no contact with any of them for over three months and the parents never informed the police… We just think it's suspicious circumstances and we're concerned for this boys safety… Thank you."
The receptionist hung up the phone.
"They said they'll be here within half an hour… They said they'll have to question Roxas when he's in better form too."
The nurse nodded and returned to Roxas ward.
Suspicious how the nurse had run off suddenly the twins mother had followed the nurse and hidden near the receptionists desk to listen into the conversation…
<They're going to call the police on us? Suspected abuse case… Because we didn't report Sora as missing?>
With fear now running through her veins she stood with her husband waiting for the nurse to return and quietly left the hospital before the nurse left Roxas room again.
Roxas wondered why he couldn't move his arms…
They were strapped down…
Someone was leaning over them making them feel heavy and sore…
He wanted to make them stop but was far too weak to fight his restraints and instead he put his efforts into crying out.
"Help me Sora…"
But weakness from vomiting and blood loss got the better of him and then once again the blackness took over.
The police arrived on the scene within fifteen minutes…
Reception called for them and the nurse to go to the reception desk…
But only the nurse arrived.
"They must have left… Did they leave a contact number? Check the next of kin on Roxas' details…"
The twins mother and father were in their car speeding up the highway…
"If they find out what they were doing… They'll send US to prison… Not them US!"
Their mother was hysterical her hands were on the wheel but they were violently shaking.
"And we never reported Sora as missing… Why didn't we? They're our children… They'll take Roxas away from us and lock us up and God knows where Sora is! They'll think we're terrible parents… We've been terrible parents… We could've talked to them about what happened… What the hell were we thinking?"
Tears were running down the hysterical woman's face as she sped away in the opposite direction from the hospital.
Their fathers eyes were on the road but they were glazed over…
"You're right… We should've talked to them…"
Their mother swallowed hard.
"We can't leave our son while he's in that situation… He misses his brother and we can't abandon him too… He needs us…"
Speeding up the tarmac road she waited for the nearest exit and took it off the highway…
She stopped at traffic lights as her husband dialled Sora's number…
No ringing tone sounded just an electronic message.
"We're sorry this number is no longer is service please check the number you dialled or try your call again later…"
Their father hung up the phone feeling defeated.
"Sora's number is out of service…"
She looked over at him and punched the steering wheel…
The light turned green and in a rage she put her foot down without looking to see if anything was coming from the left…
Her eyes opened wide as a truck over shadowed their small car…
Their fathers fingers were busy typing text into a message to Sora…
*Please come home son we're worried sick about you and we love you ver…*
His wife grabbed his hand just as the truck smashed into their vehicle throwing it through the air flipping it several times before it landed on its side and got lodged on the front grill of the braking truck grinding it down about 30 meters of tarmac before slowing to a complete stop…
The truck driver jumped down from the cab of the truck pale with shock.
"Jesus Christ… Jesus Christ… Jesus Christ…"
Panicked he called the police.
"H… Hello? I'm on the 5th exit on the highway near the hospital on 52nd just at the traffic lights… I've been involved in a crash… There's a car smashed up on the front grill of my truck… I-I don't know if they're alive… There's no sound… Please send an ambulance too… No I'm unharmed… Please hurry…"
Roxas woke up with a start the nurse turned to look at him.
"Hey… How are you feeling?"
He was wild eyed but his vision was still blurry.
"Get Sora! Something's not right! Sora!"
Pulling on his restraints as hard as he could he continued to scream out for his twin brother.
"Sora!"
The nurse looked at him worriedly and called a doctor in.
"Something's happened, something bad! I can feel it! Sora!"
Two nurses held him as the doctor administered the sedative…
He suddenly started to feel very heavy lidded he started to cry.
"I just want my brother back…"
Was the last thing he said before he fell into a drug induced sleep.
Sora darted up in bed gasping.
Axel awoke when he sat bolt upright.
"Huh? Ugh… What's wrong Sora?"
The brunette frowned in the darkness.
"I don't know… Something just feels… Off… It has done all night…"
The redhead pulled him closely.
"Try to sleep baby… It's probably just your imagination playing up on you…"
The brunette nodded snuggling back into the warmth and safety of Axel's arms.
"You're probably right…"
But as he fell asleep that night something in the back of his mind insisted that he was very much mistaken.
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