Axel packed their overnight bags into the car and closed the trunk…
Only to have Sora capture his lips in a soft kiss, his blue eyes were still teary and full of unspoken gratitude.
The redhead wrapped his arms around him and kissed his hair gently before opening the passenger door for him and closing it lightly when he got inside.
He hoped for Sora's sake that everything at home was okay…
But something in his gut contradicted this hope.
Sora sat looking out the window at the darkening sky…
<Looks like it's gonna rain…>
Axel climbed into the drivers seat and put a reassuring hand on Sora's knee.
"Try and sleep baby… I'll wake you up when we get there…"
The brunette nodded and tried to close his eyes…
But horrible scenes of his brother suffering and screaming in pain kept invading the space on the back of his eyelids.
His blue eyes opened and he looked out the window at the spatters of rain hitting the glass, hoping despite everything that had happened that his family were okay.
Roxas stroked his chin thoughtfully at this question…
"What kind of guys am I into…?"
The brunette nurse smiled at his thoughtful expression.
"Well… I'm a sucker for big eyes… I love big blue eyes… Dark hair… Not black but like dark brown hair looks great on most guys… Not too tall… But not too short either… Someone who cares about their figure… But isn't like obsessed… Or afraid to eat some pizza now and then… Someone who can make me laugh, but who can be serious when the situation calls for it… Loyal, trustworthy and more than anything loving… And not afraid to show it either…"
An image of Sora flashed through his head.
The nurse laughed snapping him out of his thoughtful daze.
"Ha ha so nothing too specific then?"
Roxas shook his head forcing a grin to his face.
"No nothing too specific… I mean like that description fits every second or third guy you pass on the street right?"
The nurse laughed.
"I wish!"
The blonde thought again of his twin.
<Me too… Maybe then I wouldn't have fallen in love with Sora… And maybe this situation wouldn't have turned out the way it did…>
The door of Roxas' room clicked open and the nurse who'd been looking after him earlier on walked in looking stressed out, upset and sleep deprived.
The brunette nurse turned to look at the older nurse and standing up smiled at Roxas put a hand on his shoulder and took away his empty breakfast dishes.
"I'll see you again at lunch maybe?"
The blonde smiled over at her as she left…
"It's a date."
The door on the ward closed with a loud 'click' in the vast silence that suddenly enveloped the room.
Roxas looked at the silent nurse who sighed and spoke clearly despite looking like she would fall apart at any second.
"Your parents left the hospital last night after you were brought in here…"
"Yeah… Did they go home?"
The nurse stumbled over her words not knowing quite how to say this.
"I'm not quite sure…"
The blonde cocked his head.
"Will I be able to see them soon?"
The woman bit her lip.
"Roxas your parents were in a car crash…"
His blue eyes opened up wide.
"W-what…? Are they okay?"
She met his gaze and he already knew by the look in her eyes.
"I'm afraid they died on impact…"
He heard the words but they didn't seem to make sense…
The nurse looked at him and continued to speak but he couldn't hear her anymore…
His heartbeat was steadily increasing and pulsing in his ears, his hands gripped the bed sheets and his breathing sped up.
<How…? I only talked to them a few hours ago… If I'd never attempted this… They'd still be alive…>
Roxas started to tear at the bandages on his wrists hissing he was breathing so fast and hard through his grit teeth.
The nurse called out the door and several nurses ran in to restrain him, Roxas struggled against them desperately trying to tear at the bandages.
Tears were falling down his cheeks as his hands and feet were once again strapped to the bed, defeated he stopped struggling as a nurse readied another sedative but halted seeing him calm down.
A long choked gasp left his throat as he lay on his back hopelessly crying.
"When… When did this happen?"
The nurse wiped the tears from his face.
"Last night… It appeared they were on their way back here…"
Roxas shut his eyes tightly against the world letting tears steam down the sides if his face into his hair.
"It's all my fault… If I'd never done this they wouldn't have been in the car…"
The older nurse wiped his tears and smoothed his hair back from his face.
"It's not your fault Roxas…"
The blonde shook his head swallowing hard.
"It's all my fault…"
He gasped for air between chesty sobs and misery filled sighs.
The young brunette nurse looked through the window on his ward…
Seeing him so full of sadness after his cheerful disposition at breakfast it was almost hard to believe it was the same person…
Making eye contact with him for a moment she put one hand on her heart and bowed her head in a solitary sign of respect for whatever he'd just experienced before moving away wiping her misty eyes and trying to put on a smile for her next patient.
Demyx's eyes spilled tears down his face as one hand remained over his mouth.
He shook his head back and forth for what seemed like forever.
<I killed them…>
Zexion watched him sadly.
"The impact knocked them both unconscious… And they died soon after… Their death was relatively painless."
The blonde's hand slowly left his mouth which was pursed, his eyes were looking at the bed sheets, but staring into nothing.
"I killed them…"
He swallowed hard.
"I killed them…"
Demyx looked down at his hands which then covered his face…
Disbelief and panic making his nails dig into his skin.
"I killed them…"
Zexion walked over to his bedside and taking his wrists gently forced them away from his face and pushed them down to the bed momentarily snapping Demyx out of his horror.
"I don't want you to hurt yourself…"
His dark eyes looked directly into Demyx's light blue ones.
"This situation is unfortunate, accidents happen… But this is no one's fault. No more yours than mine. If I had of been there quicker perhaps I could have revived them. Or gotten them here faster. Maybe the doctor could've done something to save them. We can all blame ourselves Demyx. But if I blamed myself for everyone I dealt with in this hospital who's died, I'd probably be dead right now too…"
Dark eyes held Demyx's gaze as he slowly released the wrists of the blonde man.
"But if I wasn't here what would happen to all the people I save?"
Zexion held his gaze for a moment more before fetching Demyx a glass of water and leaving it on his bedside table.
Demyx's eyes became glassy and he sobbed loudly staring at the bed.
He looked so hopeless that without really thinking about it Zexion reached out and pushed Demyx's head to his shoulder holding him lightly as the blonde gasped out sobs that shook his entire body.
"This isn't your fault Demyx… This happens to people all the time… Wrong place, wrong time… That's the only crime you're guilty of…"
Demyx sobbed loudly into Zexion's shoulder wrapping his arms around the small man.
Zexion rubbed his blonde hair gently and spoke quietly and reassuringly to him as he cried.
Sora sat forward shaking violently.
Axel looked over at him concern evident in his eyes.
"Pull over…"
The redhead pulled the car into the breakdown lane of the highway but before they even fully stopped Sora opened the door and jumped out vomiting into the foliage at the side of the road.
The redhead quickly undid his seatbelt and rubbed Sora's back reassuringly.
"Are you okay baby?"
The brunette shook his head.
"Something horrible has happened… I can feel it…"
Axel had a bad feeling too, but he wasn't about to let Sora know that.
"You're just assuming the worst baby… It'll be okay…"
Sora breathed heavily trying to settle his stomach while Axel rubbed his back lightly.
"I hope you're right…"
Axel helped him back into the car and wiped his watering eyes.
"It won't be much longer until we're there… I would say about another half an hour should do it… Do you think you'll be okay until then?"
Sora nodded.
"I'll try not to get sick in the car…"
The redhead smiled and shook his head.
"I could care less about the car baby… All I care about is your wellbeing…"
Kissing him lightly on the forehead he closed the passenger door and climbed into the drivers seat.
Sora looked over at Axel and sighed finally asking a question that he feared the answer to.
"Do you think everything is okay at home?"
Axel swallowed his mouth suddenly becoming dry.
"I guess we'll just have to wait and see…"
The brunette bit his lip looking out the window, he had been seeking reassurance…
He already knew there was something very wrong, it had been coursing through his veins since he woke up…
But until they got there, there was nothing he could do.
Roxas just lay there.
He wasn't given any sedatives in the end, he was being quiet and still by his own choice.
Silent tears ran down his face, he gazed at the wall opposite the one with the view to the nurses station.
His arms lay limp by his side…
The only sign of life was his chest raising and falling as he inhaled and exhaled and his blinking blank blue eyes that stared in a glazed over state at the wall.
His body was still…
But his mind was a maelstrom of unspoken words and understated emotions.
<I never got to tell them I love them…
I never hugged them before they went…
Never apologised for doing this…
Should've thanked them more for all they did for me…
They won't see me grow up…
I'll be all alone in that big house…
Full of their dreams, their lives and wishes…
And photos…
And possessions…
They're never coming back…
I'll never ever see them again…
I'm totally alone…>
A quiet sob left Roxas throat as he leaned his head towards his hand and closed his eyes.
He knew sleep wouldn't come…
Memories of his family flashed behind his eyelids…
Simple things like dinner together, bedtime stories and Christmas mornings when they were children opening up all their presents that Santa had left…
Pain welled up inside him making him want to scream, but he didn't have the will to do anything except cry silently to himself as all that his parents would miss in their stolen future ran through his head…
"I need to get out of here…"
Demyx tried to get off the bed as tears ran down his cheeks.
"I need to be alone to think about this…"
Zexion stopped him from getting off the bed stating flatly.
"How about I call someone to pick you up and bring you home? You're in no state to drive…"
The blonde shook his head.
"I already told you… There is no one to call…"
Zexion mentally cursed himself.
"I'll drop you home. Where do you live?"
Demyx sighed heavily.
"I pretty much spent my life in that truck… Long haul truck driver… Not much time for things like friends… Family… A home… I just rent wherever I wind up after deliveries are done until the next one comes around…"
The dark haired man stared into the Demyx's saddened blue eyes and felt something in his chest wince.
"You can stay with me."
The blonde man shook his head.
"Not happening."
Zexion cocked his head to the side.
"Huh…? Why not?"
Distrust was clear in Demyx's steady gaze.
Zexion stared back with a stony gaze of his own.
"You don't trust me? Understandable… But seeing as I work long and unholy hours I'm often out… And god knows I don't know you well enough to be offering you a place to stay, let alone a place that's empty a lot of the time… But I am extending that much trust to you…"
The dark haired man broke eye contact leaving the sentence hanging in the air for about a minute.
"Of course if you're not interested…"
Zexion turned around and headed towards the door.
"Then I apologise for wasting your time… I should go, I need to sleep…"
Demyx hopped off the bed grabbing his cap from the nightstand.
"Uhm… Zexion?"
The dark haired man turned around wiping his tired eyes.
"Yes?"
Demyx shifted uncomfortably…
Unsure that what he was about to do was the right decision.
"I'm sorry, I'd like to stay with you… Even just for a few hours… Just to get out of here, I need to clear my head…"
Zexion nodded.
"Sure thing…"
Demyx didn't have anything with him except his cap and his cell phone and followed Zexion down the corridor.
"Do you have everything…?"
The blonde nodded.
"Anything else I had with me was in the truck…"
Zexion looked up and down the corridor then ducked behind the nurses station and signed Demyx out forging one of the nurses signatures.
<Why are you doing this…? This could get you FIRED. You don't even know him!>
Walking quickly down the corridor Zexion held his breath hoping he wouldn't bump into anyone he knew…
The automatic front doors were in sight and in less than a minute he and Demyx would be at his car…
As the exit doors came into closer view Zexion spotted Marluxia.
<You have got to be fucking kidding me.>
The dark haired man simply kept walking hoping the pink haired nurse wouldn't stop him…
But before the thought had fully crossed through his mind the venomous voice of the candy floss haired demon filled his ears…
"Hey Zexion…"
The dark haired man looked up in disdain.
"Best keep away from Demyx… I'm the head nurse on this ward… And he's under MY care… You'd do well to remember your place paramedic."
Zexion looked at Marluxia curiously.
<Wait… Isn't Demyx behind me…?>
Shooting a quick glance behind himself he confirmed that Demyx in fact wasn't behind him and looked back at Marluxia relieved but feigning disinterest.
"Professionalism Marluxia… You'd do well to remember patients are here to get better… NOT to be hit on."
Stepping around him Zexion made his way out to the car park and walked up to his car only to have Demyx walk up to the passenger door calmly like he'd been behind him the whole time.
Zexion looked at Demyx with confusion.
"Where the…? Actually never mind…"
The dark haired man opened the car door, automatic locking unlocked both doors at once and Demyx climbed in quickly trying to draw as little attention to himself as possible.
Zexion hesitated for a moment.
<I don't know this guy… And I'm bringing him home… I signed him out of hospital… I could lose my job…>
Demyx looked over at him hopefully.
There was a moment when the blonde swore Zexion was going to tell him that this was a bad idea and bring him back inside the hospital…
But Zexion turned the keys in the ignition and pulled out of the parking space and drove out towards the main road.
The blonde gulped so hard Zexion heard it, it was more than obvious that he was trying to hold back tears…
The dark haired man kept his eyes on the road.
"It's okay to cry you know."
Demyx quickly wiped his eyes and they sat in silence as they drove towards Zexion's apartment.
The car pulled to a halt outside Axel's house and Sora awoke from his light sleep with a start.
He looked around himself in alarmed confusion.
Axel lay his hand lightly on Sora's shoulder.
"Calm down… It's okay we're here…"
The brunette rubbed his heavy eyes and sighed.
"So what now…?"
The redhead kissed Sora lightly on the forehead.
"First we go inside settle then I'll call around the place and see if anyone's heard anything…"
Axel's mother looked out the window of their house and spotting them went outside she looked pale…
The redhead opened the door and stepped outside closing the door after himself moving around the car to open the door to help Sora out but his mother stopped him before he could.
Her voice was low her words exact.
"Axel… There was an article in the newspaper this morning…"
The redhead looked at her like she was mad.
"Eh… There's articles in the newspaper every morning mom… That's kind of what newspapers are for…"
He laughed humourlessly but his mother shot him a look and he stopped dead turning away from the car.
"Jeez easy… I was just kidding…"
"Come up to my room when you get inside I'll explain then…"
Axel watched her go and looking through the glass at Sora shrugged then opened the door for him.
"What was that about?"
"Your guess is as good as mine…"
Axel popped the trunk open and grabbing their bags he put them down easily on the lawn before slamming it closed again Sora was looking at him curiously, then stopped…
Grabbed his bag and walked into the house.
Axel felt worry build up in his stomach as Sora walked into the house.
<I hope everything's okay…>
Picking his own bag up off the wet grass he went into the house after Sora and closed the door.
The brunette was standing in the middle of the hallway awkwardly and Axel couldn't help but smile at him.
Picking up Sora's bag he kissed him gently on the cheek and led him into a bedroom off the hallway putting both their bags down at the foot of the double bed.
"How about you get settled in here and I'll go ask my mom if she's heard anything?"
Sora nodded slowly laying back on the bed, all the worry of the past hours was beginning to seriously take it out of him…
The redhead closed the door behind him as he slowly went up the stairs and entered his mothers room.
She was sitting on her bed with the cordless phone in her hand she simply looked at Axel and motioned to the newspaper she had open on the bed.
The redhead took it up and took in the pictures of the wreckage of a grisly car crash and started browsing the article not sure why his mother had shown him this until he saw the names…
<Sora's parents?! But what about…?>
His mother cleared her throat and he turned to face her, her voice was very quiet as she spoke.
"I've just been on to the hospital enquiring about Sora's parents… Both of them died at the scene… Also his brother Roxas tried to kill himself… It seems his parents were on their way back to the hospital when the car crashed…"
Her hand was at her mouth and her face was pale.
"I feel simply awful for him…"
Axel's hand stroked his lips in thought.
"How am I ever gonna break this to Sora…?"
Axel's mother laid a hand on his shoulder.
"I think we should bring him to see his brother first then try and gently break it to him…"
Axel shook his head.
"No… He'll be more upset if I keep it from him… I suppose I'd best just bite the bullet and get it over with…"
His mother bit her lip.
"Do what you think is best… But be gentle with him, these next few days are going to be terribly hard on him…"
The redhead took a deep breath and stood up from the bed.
He walked out of the bedroom and downstairs…
Their bedroom door was open but Sora was not inside.
He walked out to the kitchen to find Sora frozen to the spot holding a newspaper in his hand.
"Sora…?"
The brunette simply stood there, Axel carefully took the newspaper from him and sat him down.
<Shit… He's already seen it…>
He was wide eyed pale and yet straight faced…
Silent tears fell down his shocked face.
"Sora…?"
The brunettes tear eyes flicked to Axel's his whole body was beginning to tremble.
"My parents… Are they…?"
He couldn't even say the word…
Axel gulped.
"My mom called the hospital as soon as she saw it… Roxas is okay… But your parents…"
Sora's eyes welled up and he leaned forward into his hands choking on escaping sobs that were heavy and hard on his chest.
Axel moved close to him and rubbed his back not knowing what to say…
Sora thought he might die from the emotional pain coursing through his veins as he gasped for air through his tears.
<I never even got to say I loved them… Or goodbye…>
He put his face into his arms and sobbed deeply knowing that the pain wouldn't go away anytime soon…
Axel looked distraught at Sora's current state.
"I'm sorry Sora… I'm so sorry you had to find out like this too…"
The brunette looked up at him with his saddened blue eyes.
"This… This isn't your fault…"
He stood up from the table despite the fact that he was exhausted and his head was reeling.
"I-I need to see Roxas…"
Axel cleared his throat standing up.
"Maybe… You should lie down for a little bit first…"
Sora turned around to look at him.
"No! Now! Where is he?"
The redhead couldn't meet his gaze.
"What aren't you telling me?!"
Axel shifted uncomfortably and inhaled a deep breath.
"Roxas attempted suicide."
The brunette opened his mouth and closed it again…
Unsure of what to say to this…
"He… Tried… To kill himself?"
Sora steadied himself on the kitchen table…
"This… This is too much… I can't take this…"
Axel tried to touch him but Sora pushed his hands away.
"Just… Stop it! I need to see Roxas."
"But Sora… You should rest you've been…"
The brunette shoved him away.
"Just take me to see Roxas… Please."
Defeated Axel got his car keys and opened the front door for Sora.
Nothing was said on the drive to the hospital…
And Axels sombre silence unsettled Sora…
He was never seemed to be that quiet and never before had there been this horrible sickening tension between them.
Roxas stared at the ceiling in his room.
He wasn't trying to break free of his restraints…
He hadn't said anything since shortly after he'd been told…
He didn't touch any food…
He was barely even moving…
It was as if he just wanted to give up on life and everything in it…
The young brunette nurse looked through the window at him trying her best to remain detached but finding it incredibly hard to not feel sad for him.
<I wish there was something I could do that would make him feel better…>
She could feel tears well up in her eyes and she turned away quickly bumping straight into a brunette haired male.
"Oh I'm so sor…"
She looked up at him and her mouth dropped open.
"Hi… Do you know where I could find…"
Cocking her head her first thought came from her mind to her lips in an instant.
"You're his twin…"
Her finger pointed through the window and Sora immediately ran into the ward to his brother.
He looked at his twin who was strapped down…
His blue eyes were closed, Sora wrapped his arms around Roxas his anger melting away as his eyes filled with tears.
"Roxas…"
The blondes eyes blinked open at the mention of his name.
"Sora…?"
The brunette nodded as his tears rolled down his face and into his brothers blonde hair.
"Sora… Is it really you…?"
The brunette pulled back looking into his brothers familiar eyes…
"Yes Roxas…"
And felt something more than he should be feeling for his brother pulsing its way through his body again.
"It's me… I'm here."
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